A Toast to Life, Motherhood and Health.

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It's a new day. I was thinking about how my negativity /negative self talk to my friends could negatively impact my relationships. I have lost alot of friends due to this.. Amy's insecurities and shit. I can name a bunch of friends that were BFF material and now are barely facebook acquaintences. Lori, Yvonne, Michele, Maggi, Amanda, Collette, Paul, Melinda and that is all within the last 2-3 years. I'm sure there are more! I used to think it was cause I had babies and most of them don't but I am seeing differently now. So I am going to try to keep my internal self talk to a minimum (most may be subconsciously) and to None outloud. I would hate for my babies to hear me. I dont want them to end up with self esteem issues.
Last week on Wednesday 8/6 I made a note in my paper journal and it was all very negative today I concentrated on being positive. - sweet, loving, good mom, great skin, great teeth, beautiful eyes, legs that go on forever and great hair.

Amy called me upset about Bonnie again, she keeps losing kids, and people in her life when is she going to realize its her attitude that are causing people to get frustrated. She thinks my family dont like her... They like her, they just dont like her with me. I always thought things would be differnt. Its my job to turn my life around, I am starting with myself!! NOW!

I came home and cooked dinner cause for some reason since her dad moved in dinner isn't cooked. She didn't do dishes, I didn't see any artwork done.. What did she so all day?! So anyway after dinner I asked Seby If he wanted to go to the park.. Well the park then turned into grmdma dees for swimming which is fine but it was getting late and I've been trying to get Kate asleep by 8.830. While we we were swimming I mentioned how Seby tells everyone he has 2 moms and how cactus at that age knew to not say he has 2 moms..because it may cause attentions.. And she literally started saying Why are you getting at?? What are you trying to say? I literally felt attacked.. Like I had to defend something I was saying when I was just stating the differences between children.. I really hate that we are about to get into a confrontation feeling.. Ugh.so I told her I was just stating.. And I dropped it..
we left and she wanted to go to heb so I got her to drop me off, I got Kate to sleep without a bottle might I add!! Go Katie!! She is doing great! How can I stay positive in this environment!


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